Because it comforts me somewhat to write here and pretend that I am speaking to you like we have done every single day for the last year and a half. Because I couldn't be there for you in your last moments and I had so much to say to you - my best friend.
We met under such strange circumstances, on this very site in fact and through writing - a hobby, passtime that led me down a path to meet one of the most amazing people I have ever known.
Your light JJ, even if it is no longer in this world, shines on through the next and I will always carry you with me. Your friendship, the long hours into the night when you were too ill to sleep, the talks and the laughs and the ... and the tears. One day I will look back and smile at these memories, and be thankful you gave them to me. One day I will look back on the work we did and feel you here with me when I hand it over to the publishers.
One day I will be with you, in that bar you talked about, and we'll once again spend our nights laughing into the wee hours. Wait for me JJ. Patient and true as you were in this life. ((Total lie, I remember those emails! You were one of the most impatient people I knew!!))
I'm always going to be talking to you JJ, so listen out for me. I'm reminded of one of the very first things I said to you when we met - when it's dark enough you can see the stars. Always hope, it was your mantra - it was in your strength. The stars are so incredibly bright tonight.
I love you JJ, you will always be my best friend. Whether you are here or waiting for me elsewhere. Sleep now babycakes, peacefully and finally with the answers to all those questions we pondered.
Theresa x-x-x